Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbours to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser – in fees, expenses, and waste of time.
Read more about Mediation.
As the New Year approaches, we tend to look forward and think about what has been and how we want things to be different.
The more time, money, effort or love we have invested in something, the less we are inclined to let it go, even when the evidence is that it is a lost cause.
The sunk cost fallacy prevents us from realizing the best choice is to do whatever promises the better experience in the future, not that which negates the feeling of loss from the past.
Studies show lower animals and small children do not commit this fallacy. They do not care how much they’ve invested or how much goes to waste. They can only see immediate losses and gains. As an adult human being, we have the gift of reflection and regret, which changes how we react to our past.
As a simple example, have you ever overeaten at a restaurant because you have paid for the meal and want to get your money’s worth?
This New Year, notice what are you holding onto because of sunk costs in terms of time, effort, money or emotion.
From here on, is it going to keep costing, or start paying?
We want people around us to do the right things the right way. And by ‘right’, we mean according to a set of values we prefer and espouse.
So how do you encourage people to behave in accordance with the values you want?
Stories are a great way to transmit and aid understanding of values. Stories are how parents influence the values of their children, teachers influence students, the media influences the population, and how we can influence our work colleagues.
Do you have people around you who need reminding of the values of your team, your organisation?
Tell them a story, either a real event that demonstrates how someone like them did the right thing, or a made-up parable or metaphor.
If people are not doing the ‘right’ things, what value needs clarifying, and what stories can you think of that would bring clarity?
Here are some tips on values stories, and a couple of stories you could use if they work for you.
My best wishes, Paul
“Self-reflectiveness is the quality that most differentiates those who evolve quickly from those who don’t.” – Ray Dalio
Are you growing, or in your own evolutionary doldrums?
Everyone reflects because we all think about things that happened, but the ‘quality’ of that reflection varies. If you are going to reflect anyway, you might as well make some of it useful reflection! But how?
Questions are the answer.
What went well that I am grateful for? What didn’t go so well? How could I do it differently next time? What do I want more of?
Go on, take one minute right now, and ask these questions about your day so far today.
Here is an extended list of useful questions, and some tips on how to make the process more effective so you get more of what you want out of life.
I caught a cold, and it knocked me sideways.
I couldn’t do what was on my list of things to do. And worst of all, for me anyway, was some of those things were promises I had made to other people.
Why did I get a cold?
Some would say the virus just happened to me, the fall of the dice; and some would say it was because I was too busy and stressed, and so my immune system was at a low ebb.
If that’s true, are you also too busy?
One thing I do know is true is that tomorrow, things will be different.
Wherever we are, none of us is static.
Here’s to a better tomorrow!
“The meaning of any event can be measured in the difference that it makes. If it doesn’t make any difference, it doesn’t have any meaning.” Lyndon Duke
What do you think of that statement?
Is what you are doing meaningful and to whom?
How would you know?
If something you do makes no difference, and therefore, if the above quote is correct, it has no meaning, is it worth doing?
I like to make a difference, and I often get direct evidence that I do, which is gratifying. There are also many things I do on faith or minimal evidence that it will make a difference to someone, somewhere.
This week, think about what makes doing something meaningful to you.
Are you a political animal? Of course you are – you’re a human being. Whether you dislike or enjoy the thought of getting involved in organisational politics, if you are part of an organisation – large or small – you are part of its politics. So find out in this section what sort of political player you are. Are you are a sheep, a donkey, a fox or a wise old (or young) owl?
Discover 50 simple tips on how to manage people more effectively so your job as a manager gets easier, and you get better results than ever before.